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Jesus on Marriage and Divorce :: By Dr. Donald Whitchard

Andy C

Well-known
Genesis 1:27, 2:24; Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 19:1-10: Mark 10:1-12

Summary: Jesus taught that marriage is a sacred and serious undertaking by any man and woman who want to unite as one under the protection and direction of the LORD. We tend to make it less than God’s ideal for us.

What I am about to present is the product of a message I gave before a group of men and women during a chapel service at a rescue mission in northeastern Oklahoma. The topic of marriage was not on their list of favorites.

Several of them had left abusive and toxic relationships with spouses or significant others. Some had been the victims of physical and emotional abuse. A few women had their children with them in the audience because their father, stepfather, or latest boyfriend decided that these little ones had become “punching bags” or victims of perversions. Both sexes stood for lives destroyed by alcohol, drugs, or instability of some kind, and as a result were now amid other sufferers who had made wrecks of themselves in one way or another.

The common bond of all these heartbreaking situations was that few had heard of Jesus or what He taught about real marriage. God, in His Sovereignty, brought these lost souls to a place where they needed to know that even if no one else loved or cared for them, He did and was ready to make all things new if they would come to Him for salvation and rest from the burdens of life (Matthew 11:28-30).

Problems in relationships are not exclusive to economics, status, ethnicity, race, education, or even with couples and individuals who claim to be religious or “spiritual,” the preferred term in social circles these days. The sad fact is that even professing Christians who are devout followers of Jesus and His Word are entering courtrooms to sign papers that end a marital bond that all too often puts the children in the middle of the conflict as to who gets custody, visitation rights, and are unwilling participants in the game of “favorite parent.”

My parents divorced decades ago and are both gone. By the grace of God, they both got remarried to the individuals whom I considered my other parents, so it worked out all right, but that scene is all too rare. The very idea of a family has become a conglomeration of whatever people decide to do concerning being together. It is often a mockery of the sacred foundation of what God intended.

Divorce is as common as green grass in spring, seen by some as a perverse right of passage, chalking up wrecked relationships as a part of life’s process and moving on, no matter if the offended party sheds tears of sorrow or regret as the other walks away. Deep down, we know better, but refuse to look at the original guide to a successful and loving marriage created by the LORD and taught by the Lord Jesus.

 
Several of them had left abusive and toxic relationships with spouses or significant others. Some had been the victims of physical and emotional abuse. A few women had their children with them in the audience because their father, stepfather, or latest boyfriend decided that these little ones had become “punching bags” or victims of perversions. Both sexes stood for lives destroyed by alcohol, drugs, or instability of some kind, and as a result were now amid other sufferers who had made wrecks of themselves in one way or another.
I know people such as these who struggled with the decision of breaking their marriage vows or staying in such relationships. I did, and it is heartbreaking. In the end I trust Jesus to forgive me as I know He will. That decision has brought me to a new life full of happiness, and a much more profound relationship with Christ that was not possible before.
 
Dr Witchard is absolutely correct in what he teaches about marriage and divorce. Absent actual abuse, if both partners are Christians there is 100% chance of a marriage succeeding. But sometimes divorce becomes necessary, through no fault of one of the partners. This, naturally, then leads to the question of possible remarriage. Dr. Witchard doesn't directly deal with this issue in this article; but he does refer to it obliquely. He says: "My parents divorced decades ago and are both gone. By the grace of God, they both got remarried to the individuals whom I considered my other parents, so it worked out all right, but that scene is all too rare.“
 
Good article, thanks for posting it Andy:thankyou:

The pulpits could do an important work to bring this messy subject up often. There’s many youth and children silently confused wondering where God was when they watched their parents rip their lives up.
 
A counselor once asked Andrea and me this question that had a great impact on us: "What if the reason God brought you together in marriage was not to make you happy but to bring you closer to Him?" This is not a silly question.

First of all, drawing closer to God is the most important thing in our lives; everything else --prayer, worship, service--flows from that. Secondly, drawing closer to God results in significant changes in us. In drawing closer to God you necessarily begin to die to self and self is the thing that causes the problems in most marriages. So, by each partner drawing closer to God you both automatically become closer to each other. The self that has kept you apart becomes less and less.

Picture this process as a tall triangle: at the very top of which is God. Now picture you and your spouse each at opposite corners of the triangle's bottom. As each of you begins moving up your respective side of the triangle toward God, notice that the distance between you and your spouse is becoming less and less. The closer you each get to God, the closer you each get to each other.

The fact is that as we pursue this process we are actually more and more fulfilling the law of God: first to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength; and secondly, to love others as He loves us. The result is that the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) begins to grow in us more and more. So, more and more we are being made into Christ's image. And, through union with Christ, you and your spouse find yourselves more and more in union with each other.

I can testify that this absolutely works! But both partners need to buy in. Yet that does not mean that you only do it if your spouse does it. No, do it anyway. Be the example. And remember that the ultimate goal is to become like Christ. This is the fruit that will make your life count powerfully for God and His kingdom. The success of your marriage is a bonus.
 
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