Andiamo
Hanging on to the Throne
"Andiamo" means, "Let's Go!" in Italian. It's said a lot to kids as a kind of, "hurry up!" I heard it a lot growing up. And lately, I'm feeling it—practically every minute of every day.
My Testimony: I am one of two born-again believers in my entire family. My parents were brought up Catholic, and wanted nothing to do with religion. We did not have a Bible in our home. We never set foot in a church. I remember my Dad saying "The Bible is the biggest hoax in the history of the world." When I was 8 years old, I watched the movie, "The Greatest Story Ever Told" at my grandmother's house. As He was beaten and hung on the cross, I felt so sorry for this guy. I asked my Mom who Jesus was, and she told me what she knew. It was sort of the gospel, but leaving out His deity, and prefaced by, "Well, some people think He....." Naturally wanting to be like my Mom, I asked her what she believed about God. She proceeded to tell me her New Agey beliefs. I decided that's what I would believe, too. I quickly forgot what "some people" believed about Jesus.
At age 10 I attended Awana with a Baptist friend for a while. I still remember the words to the theme song, "Firmly, Awana stands/Led by the Lord's commands/Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed/Boys and Girls for His service, claimed/Hail, Awana—on the march for youth/Hail,Awana—holding forth the truth/Building lives, by the word of God/Awaaaaannnaaaa Staaaands.....
I sung the words along with them, and had absolutely no idea what they meant. All I knew is that the kids were kinder than the kids at school, and the games were a lot nicer. I had also gone to church and Sunday school with this same friend about half a dozen times. It was the same church that hosted Awana. I remember coloring a cross, memorizing and reciting the books of the New Testament, sitting through flannelgram stories, and pretending to pray with the other kids. I had no idea what any of this was all about. I was obviously not a member of their church, yet not one single adult—in Awana, or Sunday school, or the church service—ever approached me and asked if I knew Jesus. (When I look back on this, I am floored!)
I grew older and very troubled. I did things as a teenager and young adult that I will regret the rest of my life, and am still experiencing the natural repercussions of to this day. I was lost and directionless, and lacked a clear identity of myself. I also held no respect for myself. Desperate to get out of the house and do....something....I joined the military. At this point, I was depressed and miserable. And then...God's Providence.
After bootcamp, I was assigned to the very base, unit and office of a sergeant who was also a COGIC bishop. I found him annoying. He was also suspiciously joyful, remarkably kind, and radiant with...something. He proceeded to witness to me every single day, over the course of 2 years. This wonderful, persistent man preached and taught, shared and asked questions, pleaded and even begged. He would put a Bible in front of me and say, "Andi, read this passage." When I said I had too much typing to do, he would do my typing for me, while I read. Boy did he have his work cut out for him. Because at that point, I was resisting and mocking the things of God. But God knew who I needed. My walls remained up and my soul remained in darkness, until that day....
He was describing the crucifixion and preceding torture in great detail—everything Jesus went through. I remained stoic, as it played out in my mind, just like a movie. And then, looking at me with pleading, tear-filled eyes, he said, "And it was all for you...Andi, don't you realize....He did it all for you..." Suddenly, "something happened" to me. My individual sins didn't cross my mind, and neither did forgiveness, or Heaven. But I suddenly, I just felt rotten. That this man I never met...this man of love... would do this for me. For me. That this...could it be?....God of love...would do this for me.
At that supernatural moment, it was like a veil had been lifted off my face. It was not a decision. I had no control over it. I could now see. I knew that I had heard the truth. And I knew that I now believed it. Not saying anything to my co-worker, I kept my poker face, while holding back tears. I still had not prayed, but as I walked through the building the rest of that day, I felt strange and distinctly different from everyone else. It was as if I knew a special secret, that nobody else knew. I prayed that night, something to the effect of, "I believe in You. Take me, and come into my life."
Sparing you the rest until later, my walk since that day 27 years ago has been a slow progression of learning obedience, surrender, dying to myself, finding identity in Christ, and a desperation to live for Him. Like a little bell that is always ringing in my head...I can't get away from it, though I have tried. I am so tired of struggles, failures, doubts, missteps, battles and disappointing myself—which is one of the reasons why I can't wait for the rapture, and my new brain.
And the world....don't even get me started....
Andiamo!!!
~Andi
My Testimony: I am one of two born-again believers in my entire family. My parents were brought up Catholic, and wanted nothing to do with religion. We did not have a Bible in our home. We never set foot in a church. I remember my Dad saying "The Bible is the biggest hoax in the history of the world." When I was 8 years old, I watched the movie, "The Greatest Story Ever Told" at my grandmother's house. As He was beaten and hung on the cross, I felt so sorry for this guy. I asked my Mom who Jesus was, and she told me what she knew. It was sort of the gospel, but leaving out His deity, and prefaced by, "Well, some people think He....." Naturally wanting to be like my Mom, I asked her what she believed about God. She proceeded to tell me her New Agey beliefs. I decided that's what I would believe, too. I quickly forgot what "some people" believed about Jesus.
At age 10 I attended Awana with a Baptist friend for a while. I still remember the words to the theme song, "Firmly, Awana stands/Led by the Lord's commands/Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed/Boys and Girls for His service, claimed/Hail, Awana—on the march for youth/Hail,Awana—holding forth the truth/Building lives, by the word of God/Awaaaaannnaaaa Staaaands.....
I sung the words along with them, and had absolutely no idea what they meant. All I knew is that the kids were kinder than the kids at school, and the games were a lot nicer. I had also gone to church and Sunday school with this same friend about half a dozen times. It was the same church that hosted Awana. I remember coloring a cross, memorizing and reciting the books of the New Testament, sitting through flannelgram stories, and pretending to pray with the other kids. I had no idea what any of this was all about. I was obviously not a member of their church, yet not one single adult—in Awana, or Sunday school, or the church service—ever approached me and asked if I knew Jesus. (When I look back on this, I am floored!)
I grew older and very troubled. I did things as a teenager and young adult that I will regret the rest of my life, and am still experiencing the natural repercussions of to this day. I was lost and directionless, and lacked a clear identity of myself. I also held no respect for myself. Desperate to get out of the house and do....something....I joined the military. At this point, I was depressed and miserable. And then...God's Providence.
After bootcamp, I was assigned to the very base, unit and office of a sergeant who was also a COGIC bishop. I found him annoying. He was also suspiciously joyful, remarkably kind, and radiant with...something. He proceeded to witness to me every single day, over the course of 2 years. This wonderful, persistent man preached and taught, shared and asked questions, pleaded and even begged. He would put a Bible in front of me and say, "Andi, read this passage." When I said I had too much typing to do, he would do my typing for me, while I read. Boy did he have his work cut out for him. Because at that point, I was resisting and mocking the things of God. But God knew who I needed. My walls remained up and my soul remained in darkness, until that day....
He was describing the crucifixion and preceding torture in great detail—everything Jesus went through. I remained stoic, as it played out in my mind, just like a movie. And then, looking at me with pleading, tear-filled eyes, he said, "And it was all for you...Andi, don't you realize....He did it all for you..." Suddenly, "something happened" to me. My individual sins didn't cross my mind, and neither did forgiveness, or Heaven. But I suddenly, I just felt rotten. That this man I never met...this man of love... would do this for me. For me. That this...could it be?....God of love...would do this for me.
At that supernatural moment, it was like a veil had been lifted off my face. It was not a decision. I had no control over it. I could now see. I knew that I had heard the truth. And I knew that I now believed it. Not saying anything to my co-worker, I kept my poker face, while holding back tears. I still had not prayed, but as I walked through the building the rest of that day, I felt strange and distinctly different from everyone else. It was as if I knew a special secret, that nobody else knew. I prayed that night, something to the effect of, "I believe in You. Take me, and come into my life."
Sparing you the rest until later, my walk since that day 27 years ago has been a slow progression of learning obedience, surrender, dying to myself, finding identity in Christ, and a desperation to live for Him. Like a little bell that is always ringing in my head...I can't get away from it, though I have tried. I am so tired of struggles, failures, doubts, missteps, battles and disappointing myself—which is one of the reasons why I can't wait for the rapture, and my new brain.
And the world....don't even get me started....
Andiamo!!!
~Andi
