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A Chapter Closed

Eric Nicholas

Well-known
So, I became disabled when I broke my neck in a not-so-great way and it took me out of Eastern games. It's been a longgggg journey. The pain I've endured is enough to make you ask for a bullet. No joke. I stay away from painkillers due to their assault on your system. And some advice children: Do not break your neck. It caused bladder incontinence, muscle atrophy, double vision, nystagmus, and basically a body wide malfunction if not shutdown.

I had another surgery this past September. It technically helped and even helped with some pain, but vertigo was still present, tinnitus, and extraordinary pain among many other things

About two weeks ago I took my neck and head into hands and just started manipulating it and it plain got rid of most of the torment. Most of it was located at the mastoid process bilaterally instead of the former torment located at the suboccipitals where it was referred from the break and fractures at a lower section of the spine.

Now, I am steady on my feet, the pain has drastically ceased, and my eyes aren't as heavy among many other alleviations. I have far more mobility in my rotation. I don't throw up anymore unless I eat something poisoned or the like. God had to do that. I really believe He guided my hand to make it correct.

My surgeon said this last September that I was one mild whiplash or aggressive shove on the back away from full blown paralysis. I've been in dark recesses. To my fellow pain walkers and those who claw and cry in challenge, hang in there. Many won't know what you are going through. You may look at them as If they've come through quite unscathed as they hop along charmed and satisfied. It's a tempting thought and it certainly tempted me. I'd look at them as they beamed with bright eyes and bushy tails and honestly, I'd have preferred to make a hat out of them. It was hard to stand shoulder to shoulder with them as they yapped about. Don't compare yourselves or circumstances to others. Trust me. You'll be in a loop you won't soon come out of and it will make you bitter.

Why now? Why this process? I don't know. I won't pretend to know. But I wanted to make a testimony of His mercy toward a really not so great human who has done things that would make your skin run away from your bones. And I am very thankful.

When you are down and you will be, you give your Lord praise and thank Him, not because it will cure you or even make you feel better, but because Satan absolutely loathes it. It confounds the defeat harvested so plentifully from the dead walking in this world. Don't give up.
 
“Don't compare yourselves or circumstances to others.”

This is really good advice. When I went through something, I thought that reading books about resilient people would be a good idea. Learning how to overcome pain and suffering, like there was some secret that I could learn from others and all it did was make me feel worse. It was story after story about how well someone handled what I thought was so much worse than what I was going thru.

I don’t think anyone gets out of here without going thru varying degrees of pain and suffering and it makes no sense why one goes thru this and another that. When I return to asking why this or that happened, asking what I’m supposed to learn or do thru this suffering, etc ... I think of all the babies suffering in the NICU. I remind myself pain and suffering happens in a fallen world of sin, Jesus paid the price so it won’t be this way forever, and there are things/reasons we just won’t understand this side of heaven.

Thank you for the reminder about how much praising Jesus, especially in times of suffering, bothers Satan.
 
Thank you for sharing about the awfulness and recent reduction in your head and neck pain, and re-injury concerns. I hurt my back before I was 16 and a few times since. I think the original injury must have also hurt my hips and they have given me a lot of gnawing, dull, pain for decades. Favoring one or more areas of my back caused other low and middle back problems. Long term occupational computer work hasn't been a picnic either, but being on my feet active and such is bad too. I've also experienced a lot of headaches and vertigo, which I think is primarily connect to allergies and even acid reflux; even though neck and shoulder stress seems to trigger them too. I'm always a little dizzy/unbalanced/vertigoish.....but recently some nasal spray has lessened that. The headaches can be VERY debilitating and occasionally lead to nausea and vomiting.

I used to have dreams and other periodic moments of mental anguish about having my back and hips further injured to a point where I am unable to walk. That has not happened to date but those thoughts still sneak in from time to time. I also worry about 10, 15, 20+ years from now and how this will all play out.

I'm at least 6 years from retiring unless this global Soros/Schwab socialist, marxist inflation and my future retirement caves in, but I am taking the back and hip problems a day at a time and taking Sodium Naproxen a day at a time too!

I totally understand your situation and yet cannot understand it to the proper level of what you go through every day; physically and mentally.

Thank you for sharing.
 
So, I became disabled when I broke my neck in a not-so-great way and it took me out of me Eastern games. It's been a longgggg journey.


Prayers for you to continue the healing process as you gain ground, may your dark hours be very limited, your Savior walks with you, every step, I rejoice with you in your triumphs and resolve, I believe that is only from Almighty God. Many here on CCF , RF and RR have been prayer warriors for me in my trials of complete disc loss/disintegration in lower back, mid and cervical with C-7 being the worst causing pain like a fire hot poker shooting up neck from C-7, I have cried out to the Lord many times and shed tears from pain and had days I just wanted it all to end to stop the pain, very dark days, if not for Jesus I would have taken matters into my own hands. While getting MRI and scans of my neck and back a vertebrae was found that was broken between my shoulder blades, it was a very old wound that somehow healed on it's own maybe 35-40 years ago, I had always chalked it up to normal back pain from my wild younger days of rowdy fights with punks/bullies and years of dirt bike racing through the woods and on the ice covered lakes and the crashes/mishaps that occur when enjoying such excitement. Like you I do not take pain meds, for what very little relief they offer me, I detest how my mind is altered by them and my digestive tract gets abused. Your on my list for prayers as many times a day as you enter my thoughts, just Like sister Rose and a few others, praying for more victories in this journey you are on brother. :pray: :pray: :pray:
 
When you are down and you will be, you give your Lord praise and thank Him, not because it will cure you or even make you feel better, but because Satan absolutely loathes it. It confounds the defeat harvested so plentifully from the dead walking in this world. Don't give up.
Amen, Amen and AMEN!!! Like you I have gone through a lot of unending pain and also learned that praising the Lord and thanking Him for all of His blessing and kindness even in the worst pain will deal nicely with Satan and sometimes drive the pain out also. I may have mentioned it before but I used to put on my ear phones and put Christian music on my CD player and sing praises for hours. I could picture the enemy being beaten and running away. I praise God with you that your pain is reduced, a wonderful blessing!
 
I had no idea how much you were suffering Eric.:hug: I praise Almighty God for this miracle. God has also led me to practical, “self-help” solutions several times to help alleviate my suffering. I find it remarkable that God would choose to touch us with His wisdom, rather than His power, in these situations.
It’s also remarkable how many of us on this forum have greatly suffered, physically or emotionally. And we are all saying together, “Maranatha.”
 
I thought that reading books about resilient people would be a good idea. Learning how to overcome pain and suffering, like there was some secret that I could learn from others and all it did was make me feel worse. It was story after story about how well someone handled what I thought was so much worse than what I was going thru.
What an excellent post.
This very same thing happened to me when I wanted to improve my prayer life and read books on prayer. So many of them are filled with guilt-inducing admonitions and stories of people with leathered knees praying for eight hours a day.
 
I had no idea! 😥
Praise God your pain has lessened.

Will you still be considered as disabled?

:pray:
I'm not sure. I have evaluations coming up soon. But I'm able to do things, but at a cost, at least not that long ago. I'm getting my right calf out of atrophy and building it back up. When I'd do anything physical, which was about every day, it would induce swaying and pulling vertigo quite severely. The past two years, when I'd lay down to sleep, it felt like the bed was rocking on waves, which as you could imagine is quite unpleasant. Some of the worst of it though was when I threw up every day for two years about 6-12 times a day. Considering where I was and where I am now, nothing short of a miracle.
 
I'm not sure. I have evaluations coming up soon. But I'm able to do things, but at a cost, at least not that long ago. I'm getting my right calf out of atrophy and building it back up. When I'd do anything physical, which was about every day, it would induce swaying and pulling vertigo quite severely. The past two years, when I'd lay down to sleep, it felt like the bed was rocking on waves, which as you could imagine is quite unpleasant. Some of the worst of it though was when I threw up every day for two years about 6-12 times a day. Considering where I was and where I am now, nothing short of a miracle.
Based on your other posts about weapons and recreational situations I am shocked by the fact you've been in so much pain. You are definitely a resilient person.
 
Prayers for you to continue the healing process as you gain ground, may your dark hours be very limited, your Savior walks with you, every step, I rejoice with you in your triumphs and resolve, I believe that is only from Almighty God. Many here on CCF , RF and RR have been prayer warriors for me in my trials of complete disc loss/disintegration in lower back, mid and cervical with C-7 being the worst causing pain like a fire hot poker shooting up neck from C-7, I have cried out to the Lord many times and shed tears from pain and had days I just wanted it all to end to stop the pain, very dark days, if not for Jesus I would have taken matters into my own hands. While getting MRI and scans of my neck and back a vertebrae was found that was broken between my shoulder blades, it was a very old wound that somehow healed on it's own maybe 35-40 years ago, I had always chalked it up to normal back pain from my wild younger days of rowdy fights with punks/bullies and years of dirt bike racing through the woods and on the ice covered lakes and the crashes/mishaps that occur when enjoying such excitement. Like you I do not take pain meds, for what very little relief they offer me, I detest how my mind is altered by them and my digestive tract gets abused. Your on my list for prayers as many times a day as you enter my thoughts, just Like sister Rose and a few others, praying for more victories in this journey you are on brother. :pray: :pray: :pray:
Most of my dark hours were the past decade. Days are much brighter now, thankfully. And thank you for sharing in your pain. One thing all of this has taught me among many other things is to be humble and to be apt to greatly empathize and sympathize the sufferings of so many. Your issues will remain in my prayers as well and thank you!
 
“Don't compare yourselves or circumstances to others.”

This is really good advice. When I went through something, I thought that reading books about resilient people would be a good idea. Learning how to overcome pain and suffering, like there was some secret that I could learn from others and all it did was make me feel worse. It was story after story about how well someone handled what I thought was so much worse than what I was going thru.

I don’t think anyone gets out of here without going thru varying degrees of pain and suffering and it makes no sense why one goes thru this and another that. When I return to asking why this or that happened, asking what I’m supposed to learn or do thru this suffering, etc ... I think of all the babies suffering in the NICU. I remind myself pain and suffering happens in a fallen world of sin, Jesus paid the price so it won’t be this way forever, and there are things/reasons we just won’t understand this side of heaven.

Thank you for the reminder about how much praising Jesus, especially in times of suffering, bothers Satan.
I remember some of your post about your pain. I agree, it'd be quite difficult to come out of this world unscathed. You and yours will be in my prayers to be sure. Thanks!
 
Thank you for sharing about the awfulness and recent reduction in your head and neck pain, and re-injury concerns. I hurt my back before I was 16 and a few times since. I think the original injury must have also hurt my hips and they have given me a lot of gnawing, dull, pain for decades. Favoring one or more areas of my back caused other low and middle back problems. Long term occupational computer work hasn't been a picnic either, but being on my feet active and such is bad too. I've also experienced a lot of headaches and vertigo, which I think is primarily connect to allergies and even acid reflux; even though neck and shoulder stress seems to trigger them too. I'm always a little dizzy/unbalanced/vertigoish.....but recently some nasal spray has lessened that. The headaches can be VERY debilitating and occasionally lead to nausea and vomiting.

I used to have dreams and other periodic moments of mental anguish about having my back and hips further injured to a point where I am unable to walk. That has not happened to date but those thoughts still sneak in from time to time. I also worry about 10, 15, 20+ years from now and how this will all play out.

I'm at least 6 years from retiring unless this global Soros/Schwab socialist, marxist inflation and my future retirement caves in, but I am taking the back and hip problems a day at a time and taking Sodium Naproxen a day at a time too!

I totally understand your situation and yet cannot understand it to the proper level of what you go through every day; physically and mentally.

Thank you for sharing.
Oh, come on! You don't want to get swabbed by the Schwab? Anyyywayyyy. Yeah, it's really something how you are just you one minute and the next you're something else entirely. It's truly amazing just how rapid life can change.
 
Amen, Amen and AMEN!!! Like you I have gone through a lot of unending pain and also learned that praising the Lord and thanking Him for all of His blessing and kindness even in the worst pain will deal nicely with Satan and sometimes drive the pain out also. I may have mentioned it before but I used to put on my ear phones and put Christian music on my CD player and sing praises for hours. I could picture the enemy being beaten and running away. I praise God with you that your pain is reduced, a wonderful blessing!
I remember your posts about migraines if I'm not mistaken. I used to get all hurt boy at God and It did exactly zero good. I'm over letting Satan take wins from me. Or sure, he'll get him a few more, but not so readily and easily as before. Many prayers for you.
 
I had no idea how much you were suffering Eric.:hug: I praise Almighty God for this miracle. God has also led me to practical, “self-help” solutions several times to help alleviate my suffering. I find it remarkable that God would choose to touch us with His wisdom, rather than His power, in these situations.
It’s also remarkable how many of us on this forum have greatly suffered, physically or emotionally. And we are all saying together, “Maranatha.”
I was at the bottom of the spaghetti bowl, fighting my way through the sauce-soaked noodles. *maisey*

Yeah, I had been through so many treatments, years of physical therapy, chiropractors and then bam. I just had my head in my hands and started moving it around and I'd wager to say it's mostly all gone. Whew!
 
What a wonderful praise for God!

You are so right, these kinds of difficulties are deeply hard, can be dismissed and lack understanding by others and develop a greater compassion for others suffering.

In dealing with a chronic issue myself, I certainly identify with some of what you've described, although your degree of suffering has certainly been greater than my situation. But, it's true, one gets desperate for relief and answers!

My heart goes out to those in such pain in misery and I pray for the Lord's strength, answers, compassionate friends and healing relief. :pray:
 
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